Over the past few years, there have been several terms invented surrounding the dating world. Pretty much all of them make me want to gauge out my eyeballs, but the other day I was listening to the radio and heard a new one that made me a lil' wet.
This girl was talking about how a guy she had been hanging out with was "bread crumbing" her. Being the millennial that I am, I immediately took interest and had to look it up while I was still driving.
After reading the definition I realized two things:
1. I am most likely going to die in a texting and driving related incident
2. This bread crumbing bullshit was too goddamn relatable
Although I cringe almost every time I type the words bread crumbing, it is all too true. How many times has a guy (or girl, they can be shitty as well) given you just the right amount of hope. Not the "I'm gonna marry you" type of hope, but the "I really like you, let's see where this goes" type of hope.
Bread crumbing is a whole new type of ball game. I guess it's similar to being led on, but there is one key difference: a lack of effort. It will usually go something like this:
You've been "hanging out" with this guy. I say "hanging out" because it is inconsistent. Maybe once a week, maybe a couple times a month, maybe once a year, who the fuck knows. When you do hangout it is most likely always on his terms.
He leaves everything very open-ended:
"I wanna see you soon"
"I am busy with this thing, let's maybe try again next week"
"I wish I could see you"
"I want to hangout more"
"It's however big you want it to be"
These types of things.
The frustrating thing is, you are down to make solid plans, yet for some reason he isn't. When he says "I wanna see you" you start wondering "then why the fuck are we not seeing eachother???" And at this point you almost know he is putting you on the back burner, but you like him enough that you don't want to say anything and make it a big deal. This is where you start to really notice the leaving of the bread crumbs.
A professional bread crumber will keep in touch every 3-5 business days, whether it's through text, Snapchat, Instagram, LinkedIn, mail by owl etc. He might send you something regarding an old memory, i.e. a photo of some ice cream you would often get together. He might send you a funny video that "made him think of you". He might even hit you with a text asking if you have plans for the weekend, and then when you answer with "no I never have plans", he doesn't respond. He might respond to your "no makeup" snapchat story and tell you look hot. He might even throw you a flaccid dick pic.
You start to notice how he never gives you anything solid (literally). It's all crumbs. There is no solid plan for your next hangout, or the future of your so-called relationship. Just these small crumbs to keep you the perfect amount of intrigued. He clearly likes you enough to keep in touch, yet you don't understand why he seems to make it all so damn complicated.
You guys communicate just enough. But at this point you are fucking starving, so you start eating those crumbs. You take what you can get, like a damn crack pigeon. And he gives you just enough to feel satisfied. You're not entirely full, but you're satisfied.
He is spreading out those bread crumbs one ounce of false hope at a time.
Now, it is valid to question: If he is bread crumbing me, does that make him a fuck boy?
Answer: In certain scenario's maybe, but in the most generic sense, no. It makes him a pussy boy (trademark pending).
I will go into pussy boy in a later post, but for now just know that it is pretty much means exactly that. He has zero balls and is a boy. Men with balls give you a full loaf of bread. They give you solid answers and do not make you question the intention of what they are doing.
The sad thing about bread crumbing, is we let it happen. When he randomly snaps you a picture of a movie you guys watched together and you respond, you give him that satisfaction of thinking "I can deff still hit that in a few weeks when I get my foot out of my ass." Leading someone on requires a little more effort. But with bread crumbing, it is just a short little something that makes you think "oh, he definitely isn't over it."
At the end of the day we are all hungry, but sometimes you gotta leave the breadcrumbs to the birds.