It has now been over three months since I graduated from college. The days leading up to graduation are filled with excitement, curiosity, and of course endless amounts of anxiety thinking about what is going to happen when you finally get the diploma.
Although I would like to pretend that I have it all together, I clearly do not. Three months deep into my life in the real world and all I have done is eat, sleep, drink, and constantly remind myself that I have zero clue what I want to do. I majored in communications, which at this point means nothing because it is broader than the span of Michelle Obama's arms. I can pretty much do anything, making it 10x harder to actually decide what I want to do.
Unfortunately, I have now learned that the difficulties of post grad life are a very real thing. Here are some common questions/phrases that I have encountered since being a college graduate:
1. "You must be soooo excited to be done with school!"
Yes, dumbass, of course I'm excited. But now I have to actually acknowledge the fact that I need to start looking for a real world job and wear a real bra more than once a month, which definitely puts a damper on things.
2. So what did you major in?
When I tell people that I was a com major, I often get these responses:
-"That's like super like broad, right?"
-"At least you will have many options"
-And there is the ever so classic asshole who will just throw me a soft laugh, acting like I am supposed to laugh along with their joke
Yes I am a communications major and yes I know this is seen as the joke, almost like the Dwight of the The Office, if you will. But I am not embarrassed about this and I feel as if people expect me to be. Yes, it was pretty easy. But I chose it because I hate numbers and science, and I like the option of having many options.
3. What are you going to do now?
If you are someone who has it together you may say something along the lines of:
"I'm going to start working for my uncle's company! They provide excellent health care and I'm basically getting paid to sit with my thumb in my ass!"
Now, if you are like me and have no idea what you are doing, there are a few different directions you can go in. You can either be the blessed angel that mommy raised you to be and tell the truth, or tell a little white lie like the piece of shit that you actually are.
If you are like me your answer might sound like this:
"I have no fucking clue"
If you are also like me, your answer could sound a little something like this:
"I am currently applying to some jobs but haven't heard back from anyone yet. But I'm not too worried because my dad has some connections with this company that I am interested in doing marketing for so I'm probably just going to do that."
This is a bold faced lie because none of the above is true.
1. I am worried.
2. My dad doesn't have any connections with "this company"
3. I don't have a fucking dad, idiot.
At that point you're hoping that they don't see right through you and call you out/ask more questions because if they do then you just come off as a jack-ass.
Regardless of how you decide to answer this dreaded question of where life is taking you next, the best thing is to put on that fake smile, sit through the pain, and hope it ends immediately.
4. Well I hope everything works out!
This is the conclusion of all the post-graduation job talk (at least for now). Part of you hopes they really mean it, and even if they don't and you know they are saying it out of pure guilt you are happy to hear that even the littlest people have high hopes for you.
At the end of the day post grad life is not as bad as it seems. Yes, it can be insanely stressful and frustrating not knowing the next step but there is also an excitment to it! There is excitement in the unknown! There is excitement to growing up and taking on the real world!
I'm joking. There is no excitement in any of that (at least right now). Right now all I want to do is be sitting in a giant lecture hall not paying attention to anything my professor is saying while I refresh Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter over and over and over again. Right now I want to be at a bar on a Thursday night with my best friends and eat taco bell at 2 a.m. while I'm shit-faced. Right now I want to be stoned in my bed pretending like I'm actually going to start a paper that's due at midnight when in reality I haven't typed one word and it's 11:30.
Point is this: college is probably the best time of your life and it can be sad letting it go. But, life goes on and one day I will understand that there are bigger and better things.
I will always cherish the great times I had in college and all of the amazing people I met along the way that made the experience worth the while.
And to all those that still have some college time left, you're a lucky little bastard and I fucking hate you.